A not so Merry Christmas.

As I metioned before, I have always thought that Christmas is a magical time of year. A time of excitment, innocence, joy, family and love.  I remember so many Christmas' as a child in which I am lucky enough to say it was, all of this.
This year with the family growing up (and at that stage when their friends are just as important as their family) it seemed like christmas was being scheduled in.
Scarlett, who asked us back in October about our Christmas plans, decided to spend Christmas with her boyfriend's family at a fancy restrurant. She asked if we could reschedule our plans to fit in with their's. This hurt as we had made plans long ago. It also hurt as Scarlett is still only 17 and the BF is her whole world.
I was thrilled when Richard and James came from intertstate to spend Christmas with us. I spend most of the year missing my sons (happy that they have lives, University, work, etc  but like most mom's still missing them). They arrive and spent most of their time shut up in their room gaming on computerers right next to one another. I still don't get that. Then they come down to share Christmas with us, unwrap presents and turn on the TV and game on that.We have a very late lunch, then they decide to disappear with friends. I know, one day I will laugh at this, but right now I just don't get it.
Savannah and Caitlyn game in the lounge most of the day. Emily (6) opens all her (many) presents and says "is that all?" and (when John was outside for nearly 4 hours errecting a Christmas present swing) she keeps going out to him and saying in a very cross voice "aren't you done yet?"
Rebecca (17 months) continually finds candy that the others have left laying around and gets so hyper that she cries screams and throws a fit most of the day. When we did have lunch she decided to pick up her plate and throw it across the table.
So whilst the kids are gaming (oh, and they did set up a basketball hoop for Savannah), I spend the morning in the kitchen cooking, cooking and more cooking. They keep coming past, telling me they are starving, asking when is lunch and raiding the fridge (leaving stuff all over the benches, table, floor, bedrooms, lounge room etc). Whilst doing this, I have to stop everything and go to the other side of the city to pick up my mother. So the stuff is in the oven, the timer is on, the kids are told to take the food out when the timer goes off whilst I pick up Nanna. Nanna HATES christmas. My brother died back in 1984 at the start of December and she has never really recovered. Her depression is horrible, and comes across as bitter sacasim, self pity and when she is around my family, pure dependance. Nanna can even get up from her seat to get a glass of water, and everything has to be done for her instantly. My mother is only 63, and when she is not around me she gets around perfectly (she is not disabled). When I picked her up, she grumped and complained the whole way back (my trip took me 45 minutes there and back). She also insisted that I take her to find a store as she had forgotten to buy sugar. That was extremely hard to do as stores are generally closed on Christmas day in this State and when you do find a little local store that is open they have a 300% mark up on prices and cues of people waiting to get into the crowded store.
I was still determined to keep a cheerful mood despite all this. We finally arrived back home and the house looked trashed (general christmas wrapping and snack food everywhere), the smell of burning food greats me, whilst the kids remain gaming and John is still putting up the swingset.
I deal with it. The only slight crack I have in my mood is when I am asked when is lunch as my mother sits at the dining table watching me running trying to get everything done by myself.
Scarlett finally arrives with her BF (who looked like he didn't want to be there). So we try to have a nice meal. We only had 11 people at the table, but things were still alittle crowded. So I was hardly surprised when Caitlyn reached across her Dad to get food and it ended up being dumped on his plate, drink etc. They even refused to bless the food (this type of behaviour is NOT normal in our home; the kids are a loving, respectable group who I love and am generally proud of).  In between courses, I was shocked when the kids and Nanna decide to disapper rather than help clear the table or help at all. They TELL me to let them know when the next course is served whilst they go off to game. I told them I wasn't happy with how they were treating me like a maid and asked for help, to clear the table and some space so I can whip some cream. James desided to do dishes between courses insted (does ANYONE do that??? Especially as we didn't need those dishes for the next course) Our kitchen is small (we plan on remodeling it next year) so I was unable to get in there to do anything; not even get desert. Scarlett's BF, Scarlett and Nanna were sitting around outside smoking and talking through all of this and the BF decided he was tired and still full from the restruant so he wanted to go home. He was taking Nanna home too. All this was the final straw, and I asked if the rest of the family could give me a break. Richard (nearly 21) then decided to drop the final straw on the camels back when he told me to "Chill". He said it is Christmas and to just chill and relax. I burst into tears and asked who would be doing everything if I did this? I then went off to my room to cool down. Nanna, Scarlett and her BF left. It was the first time I saw my mother smaile the whole day. As she walked out the door she said; "well next year we can do pot luck" and I might beable to bring something. WHAT?!?!?
Was she waiting for me to fail? Was that what she was hoping for?
The day didn't end there as she forgot her handbag,keys and gifts and sent Scarlett and the BF back to get them. They said they would be right back and didn't arrive for 5 hours when John and I were heading off to bed.
Christmas is usually such a beautiful time of the year. Celebrating with family the birth of the Saviour. I love Christmas. I love my family. But this year things just didn't work out well together.
There will be no Ba-Hum-bug from me. But, I am glad this Christmas is finished.
Next year............................................................................................................................??????

I love Christmas; I always have. I have so many happy memories of wonderful, family Christmas',  parties,and lights. Why is it that this year just seams so....well, I am not sure of the right word. Not totally overwhelming but pretty close to it.
This past year to eighteen months has been so hectic. And now we are a week away from Christmas and I am just starting to shop. There was a time when I used to have all my Christmas shopping finished by September/October. This year it seems so different. I am totally at a loss what to buy. What do you buy for a son who is just about to turn 21? Or 19 and 18 year olds who seem to be able to get everything they want for themselves? My 15 year old just started her first job, so she has been buying most of what she was wishing for herself.  What? What? What?
I miss the days when it was easier. When Christmas morning they would sneak out of bed long before dawn and be totally in awe of all the little gifts that Santa had left behind. Now their friend's talk of iphones, laptops, and endless electrical good.
How do you get back to the spirit of Christmas? It's more than just carols, christmas music, decorations, and even church.